BUFFY: Gothica Dee & Jessica Bee Come to Sunnydale
by Dan Bivens
Summary: Two vampiric sisters have come to Sunnydale just when vampire activity is at its highest. Who are they and what do they want? Do they intend on killing this latest Slayer as well as her friends?
1. Chapter 1

**GOTHICA DEE & JESSICA BEE COME TO SUNNYDALE**

Chapter 1

"So," said Xander Harris as he and the other Scoobies followed Buffy Summers' past the tombstones, "exactly how long did you say it'd take for this new batch of vampires to rise from their graves, Buffy? Because I'm thinking…the night's half over and since vamps are allergic to sunlight…"

Casting a strained stare in Xander's direction, thus shutting him up for the moment, Buffy duly noted that Willow Rosenberg, Cordelia Chase, Daniel "Oz" Osbourne, and, of course, her ever-present Watcher, Rupert Giles, were all lost to the throes of impassivity while walking within Sunnydale's largest, as well as most notorious haven for vampires, graveyard.

"Look, guys," heavily heaved Buffy, indolently allowing the stake of wood in one hand to simply dangle, "just because I can sometimes sense when a major vampire rising is about to take place, doesn't mean I can pinpoint the exact second…"

"Arrrrrr!"

Moving even more fluidly than she'd done since first accepting the thrust-upon-her mantle of Slayer, Buffy almost lazily landed bone-breaking punches and kicks on the just-risen vampire male, some 150 pounds heavier and six inches taller, before expertly puncturing his non-beating heart with that callously carried wooden stake.

Causing said vampire to instantly turn into so much ashen dust to be swiftly spread upon the breeze…

"…all I can do," continued Buffy as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, "is be ready to take them out when they do pop up. Understand, Xander?"

"Uh," Xander started to say, even as he shot puzzled looks to the equally confounded Scoobies, "s-sorry I asked, Buffy. Uh, w-was that it or w-will there be a lot…?"

Before Xander could complete the quivering query…

"Gaarrrrr!"

"Gyyyyaaaaa!"

"Arrrrrrrrr!"

"Yaaaahhhhhggggg!"

"Y-you spoke too s-soon," stammered a still-nervous, even with her ever-growing witch-talents, Willow.

Buffy demonstrated why such as she was, essentially, born to be a Slayer as her seemingly super-powerful punches, kicks, throws swiftly sent attacking vampires, male and female, coming at them from all possible sides, down to the ground before shoving the pointed end of her single stake into undead hearts in order to instantly "dustify" her fanged antagonists.

Save for the few that, like it or not, the Scoobies were forced to confront and combat with more anti-vampire weapons, such as not only wooden stakes, but holy water, crucifixes, Seventeenth Century silver-bladed swords, as well as medieval wooden arrows-and-crossbows…

"Yeeeiiiiii!"

"Arrrggghhh!"

Ssssssssssssshhhhhhh-thunk!

Thump-Thud!

…until, before they even knew it, they'd actually helped Buffy obliterate quite a lot of freshly risen-from-the-grave bloodsucking vampires, even though their nerves remained rather raw.

"Th-that w-wasn't s-so hard."

"Xander…did you piss yourself?"

"I rather think he may have done something much, much worse."

"I always knew you were nasty, Xander, which was why I quit dating you."

"Hey, the feeling was mutual, Cordy…"

"Guys!"

The motley crew immediately fell silent as Buffy rolled her eyes in exasperation prior to proceeding deeper into Sunnydale's large graveyard in order to find and fillet still more monstrosities.

Such was when, hidden by darkness and shrubbery, two female vamps of exceptional strength and supernatural abilities watched and waited.

"What do you think, Gothica Dee?" asked the shorter, but only slightly so, of the two, as the slightly taller smiled in such a way as to allow vampiric canines to gleam in the moonlight.

"Hard to say, Jessica Bee," said Gothica Dee in a hushed aside to her eternal sibling. "She certainly looks like the leader…which would be what a true Slayer would have to be. I'm still a little concerned with these others."

"Yes," nodded Jessica Bee as she, too, bared razor-sharp vampiric teeth, "according to all secret historical records, the Slayer is supposed to be a solitary position. So why…?"

"Yes," agreed Gothica Dee with a lifting of her pale-skinned head. "Why would this one have an…entourage?"

END OF CHAPTER 1


	2. Chapter 2

**GOTHICA DEE & JESSICA BEE COME TO SUNNYDALE**

Chapter 2

Morning in Sunnydale.

"Buffy, time to get up!" Joyce Summers shouted upstairs for the second time in an attempt to awaken her very special, whether she was willing to recognize it or not, daughter. "What is wrong with that girl? Buffy!"

After quickly climbing the stairs, Joyce was more than a little perturbed that Buffy was still in bed with the comforter completely covering her blonde-haired head.

"Oh, Buffy," groaned Joyce, "I really don't have time for this. Come on, time to wake up!"

"No. Too tired to wake up," grumbled Buffy as a short-lived tug of war broke out between the Slayer and the mother. Joyce lost.

"What have you been eating to get so strong?" muttered Joyce as she, once again, did everything within her parental power to wake what she believed to be a lazy high school-aged daughter. "That's it, Buffy, no more sleeping in!"

Having jerked open the drapes in order to allow the brilliant sunlight to stream in, Joyce once again tugged on the thick comforter and, this time, succeeded in introducing Buffy Summers to a brand new day.

"Ah, Mom…!"

"No 'ah, Mom', young lady," insisted Joyce as she glanced at her wristwatch and groaned at the lateness of the morning hour. "I have got to get to the gallery, Buffy, and you have got to get to school."

"Mom?" puzzled the Slayer as she slowly realized that something wasn't quite right while swinging her legs over the side of the disheveled bed. "Uh…are you feeling all right?"

"Of course I am, Buffy, why would you even ask such a thing?" rhetorically asked Joyce as she was preparing to rapidly leave her daughter's bedroom.

"Uh, maybe because you haven't worked at the 'gallery' in at least a year," Buffy told her mother while slowly standing and folding her arms pensively across her chest. "And because school is out for the summer."

"Wh-what?" a suddenly befuddled Joyce stammered as she stared with knitted brow at her secretly special child. "Buffy…why would you say such a thing? You know I'm running the Sunnydale art gallery just as you are attending Sunnydale High. Why would you…?"

"Mom, listen to me, okay?" said a deadly-serious and deeply worried Buffy as she slowly stepped up to an increasingly confused Joyce in order to look deeply into her mother's glazed-over eyes in order to gradually realize a disturbing truth. "Mom…did anyone come here while I was out with…uh, while I was with Willow and our study group?"

"What kind of question is…?"

"Mom!"

Giving in to the stronger-than-normal charisma that existed within the Slayer, Joyce said, "Just a couple of girls…sisters, I believe. One was named Jessica and the other was, uh, Dee, I think it was. Why?"

"Did you invite them in?" Buffy asked as Joyce's questioning expression became much more bewildered as well as befuddled. "Mom! Did you invite them in?"

"Well, it was really a little late for visitors," replied Joyce a little nervously, "besides, you were with Willow and…what's this all about?"

"I've gotta go," suddenly said Buffy as she quickly pulled a pair of jeans over her pajama bottoms while leaving the T-shirt top as it was and, next, swiftly stepping into one of her many pairs of shoes. "Why, uh, why don't you call in sick today, Mom? You don't really need to go to the, uh, gallery today. Okay?"

"But, uh, I feel fine," protested Joyce, but far more weakly than expected. "I, uh, well…I do feel a little…foggy."

"Okay, then, you go lie down and, as soon as I get back," said Buffy even as she hurriedly descended the stairs in order to trot straight out their front door, "I'll, uh, make you some chicken soup or something. Gotta go!"

"But, wait, Buffy, I…," began Joyce only to have the rapidly, and loudly, closing door curtly cut her off. After which, mysteriously, she suddenly felt an overwhelming need to head for their so-soft sofa and take a long nap. "I'm…so confused…"

"Are you certain, Buffy?" asked a still sleepy casually dressed school librarian/Watcher having answered the frantic knocking upon his front door.

"Yes, Giles," Buffy said at first, then, "no…maybe. That's why I came to you and why we need to get Willow over here. I can't shake the sensation that vamps have hypnotized my mother for some God-awful reason. She was far too trusting and, and, and…too willing to listen, and, and…"

"Settle down, Buffy," said Giles as he adjusted his smallish round glasses resting upon his very English nose, whatever that means!, as he proceeded in the direction of his miniature kitchen. "Would you like some tea?"

"How about some coffee?" sighed Buffy as she plopped heavily onto the plush living room sofa. "Black!"

"Coffee, eh?" Giles muttered with more than a little British arrogance regarding such a difference between the English and the proverbial Colonies. "Perhaps I have some from last year when you asked for it. Should be sufficiently nasty for an American teen."

"Willow? It's Buffy," the Slayer said into Giles' phone after quickly calling Ms. Rosenberg and waking the industrious teen/indeterminate witch. "Giles and I need you at his house right away. I'll explain after you get here. 'Bye."

No sooner had she hung up after that very brief call than Giles stepped in with two cups and saucers: one containing hot Earl Grey tea, the traditional black kind, while the other contained an equally hot, more or less black, cup of thoroughly brewed coffee.

"Uh, here's your, uh, coffee," Giles said as he handed that cup and saucer to Buffy, who eyed both it and him very curiously. "What's the matter? Not, uh, 'black' enough?"

"How did you make the coffee and tea so quickly?" Buffy asked with a puzzled scowl. "I know you don't like instant anything, so…"

"What are you talking about, Buffy?" said Giles with a genuinely confused expression. "I've been in the kitchen for some ten or more minutes while you were out here on the phone with…"

"Ten minutes?" Buffy asked almost rhetorically while mentally calculating a far shorter passage of time since first arriving. "But…"

Just then another knock came from the front door and Giles quickly opened it to allow Willow step inside clutching her laptop case and apologetically saying, "Sorry it took so long, guys, but my mother made me eat breakfast and clean my room before…"

"How long?" Buffy quickly asked.

Though suddenly puzzled, Willow nonetheless answered, "I don't know…45 minutes or so."

Now even Giles' British countenance betrayed the irrevocable realization that something was most definitely not right.

"Vampires can't change time," Buffy finally said, shattering the uneasy silence hanging over the three, "so it must be something else. But…what?"

Though not one hundred percent certain of what had recently transpired, Willow knew enough to head for the nearest table in order to set up her computer using Giles' begrudgingly maintained dial-up while saying, "Whatever it is, it must make use of the Dark Arts to affect time in singularly disparate ways. I'll get on the internet and start Googling."

"And I'll go grab some at-home books on the subject," Giles said even as he downed the rest of his curiously no longer hot tea, "in order to look for whatever this is that way."

"Let's just hope that we somehow discover what's going on," warningly stated the Slayer as she finished the equally cold coffee, as if both had been left unattended for over an hour rather than mere minutes, "before the sun sets. For some reason…I get the feeling that whatever it is…will come for us then."

END OF CHAPTER 2


	3. Chapter 3

**GOTHICA DEE & JESSICA BEE COME TO SUNNYDALE**

Chapter 3

Even as Willow and Giles struggled against an unnaturally rapid passage of time, with night nearing, Xander discovers the strangeness of the summer day and sought out the only other individuals whom he knew understood…

"Buffy, Giles, Willow," the heavily panting Scooby said as the Slayer answered his nervous knocks, "don't think I'm crazy, but, uh, s-something's wrong with, uh, time. Just minutes ago, it wasn't even late-afternoon and, now…"

Even as Xander exaggeratedly gestured at the rapidly darkening sky, Buffy basically dragged him inside while saying with a nod, "Yeah, we know and we're working on it."

Xander spastically noted that Giles was much more comfortably attired than usual for the proper Englishman, and Willow, always smiling even in the midst of something especially baffling, busied herself online with her pink Macintosh laptop.

"Oh, well," he nervously said, "good to know I'm not a loon. So…what're we up against, guys? Master Vamps? Wicked witches? Demons? What've we got?"

"At the moment," said Giles in a deadpan manner only he could pull off, "we haven't the foggiest."

"So," said Xander with a forced smile not successfully disguising his absence of bravery, "we looking at the usual here? You know…Buffy on point with the rest of us bringing up the…?"

Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock!

Opening Giles' front door for a second time, Buffy wasn't exactly surprised to see…

"Cordelia," she said with a frustrated sigh, "come on in."

"What's…?" Cordelia started to ask, just as Buffy, Xander, Giles, and Willow answered simultaneously.

"We don't know yet!"

"Okay, already, no need to snap my head off," the always overly self-conceited Cordelia Chase said as she swiftly plopped onto the sofa as Buffy, eyes rolling in exasperation, closed and locked the door.

While the Slayer and the Scoobies continued trying to discover the cause of this strange disruption of individualized Time, even as, in less than five minutes, twilight had quickly become a very dark night…

…two vampiric sisters stood, hidden by the darkness as well as by yard trees, across the street from Rupert Giles' house with fangs fully displayed and vampire eyes seeing in infrared.

"She's not dealing with this 'mystery' alone, Gothica Dee," Jessica Bee commented as her infrared-seeing eyes picked out the heat signatures associated with Rupert Giles, Xander Harris, Cordelia Chase, Willow Rosenberg, and, last but never ever least, Buffy Summers.

"Yes," hissed Gothica Dee as her infrared-seeing eyes observed the same, "so that means that Buffy needs these common Humans to fulfill her duties as Slayer. Most interesting. I believe, Jessica Bee, that it is time to…introduce ourselves."

"There's no reason for Ms. Summers to believe us," protested Jessica Bee with a twisted scowl making her fanged canines all the more monstrous. "What's to prevent the Slayer from staking both of us on the spot?"

"Nothing," replied Gothica Dee with a heavy sigh, "but the truth."

Knock! Knock!

Screwing their faces into puzzlement over who was, in the middle of this rapidly arrived night, lightly knocking on Giles' locked front door, Buffy bravely strode forward. After throwing open said lock, she swiftly swung the door open to reveal…

"Vampires!"

No sooner had Xander shouted that obvious observation, with Cordelia screaming like a little girl and pulling her long, lovely legs onto the sofa as if the vamps were rodents…

…than Giles was quick to say, while swiftly standing, ancient book of Dark Arts in hand, "Relax, everybody, vampires cannot enter a home without being invited first."

"And we're not doing that," nodded a nervous-as-Hell Xander Harris, then, a ridiculous look on his face, "Right?"

"No," answered Buffy the Slayer while assuming an Alpha role just inside said doorway. "But I'm liable to come out there with a couple of really sharp stakes, unless…"

Leaving that last hanging, Buffy provided the perfect opening for the vampire sisters, who quickly began to explain…

"My name is Gothica Dee. This is my sister, Jessica Bee. As is obvious, we are vampires, but we are also Slayers…just like you, Buffy Summers. But unlike you…we have no Watcher and no 'team'."

"How can vamps be Slayers?" Xander asked sheepishly. "They can't. Can they, Giles?"

"I've never heard of such occurring, but…"

"But?" said Xander as anxiety reached a noticeably ludicrous level. "When was there ever a 'but'? Have you ever heard of a 'but', Willow? Cordy? Buffy?"

"If you would allow us to come in," seriously suggested Jessica Bee, "then we could more easily tell you. But we have to hurry, because…"

"Because of she who will fully appear," quickly interjected Gothica Dee with an expression, even if fanged and vamp-eyed, "to do much more than merely play with Time."

Quickly shattering a nearby table with a single fist, causing Giles to cringe over such destruction of his property, Buffy now had a makeshift stake that had been a table leg.

"Don't worry, guys. If they do anything the lest bit aggressive…I'll introduce them to Mr. Stakey. Giles…?"

Quickly shaking off the fact Buffy had just wantonly destroyed a cherished piece of antique furniture, Giles uncertainly said, "Uh…you are…invited in."

It was just then that two vampire sisters, claiming to also be Slayers, looked at one another with devilish smiles accentuating their vampiric fangs, then simultaneously stepped inside.

"Why do I get the nauseating feeling," gulped a sweating-with-terror Xander, "that we've just made a major mistake?"

END OF CHAPTER 3


	4. Chapter 4

**GOTHICA DEE & JESSICA BEE COME TO SUNNYDALE**

Chapter 4

"Okay," said Buffy Summers somewhat sinisterly to the two vampiric sisters, "start talking or…"

To make her point, no pun intended!, the Slayer held up her makeshift stake that had previously been the leg of a now-smashed antique table that Rupert Giles still seemed to grieve over.

"No need for such dramatics, Ms. Summers," said Gothica Dee drolly while smiling in such a fashion as to display those fangs again.

Which didn't exactly reassure an already anxiety-ridden Xander Harris or a squeamishly-holding-onto-her-feet-tucked-beneath-her Cordelia Chase…

…with even Willow Rosenberg, she of the Wiccan clan, and Rupert Giles, official Watcher in league with the blonde-haired Slayer, cringing just a little.

"We're a rare breed," finally explained Jessica Bee, her own extra sharp/long canines very visible. "Bitten by vampire. Dying only to rise again. Yet with a desire not to kill hapless Humans…"

"But, rather," chimed in Gothica Dee, "to become Slayers…not too different from you, Ms. Summers…Buffy. Save with you such was a birthright while, with us such was a conscious choice."

"Just because we have been," said Jessica Bee, pausing just long enough to weigh her words, then, "cursed…doesn't mean we don't wish to rid Sunnydale, and by way of eventual extension, the world, of the more evil vampires popping up. Especially now."

"Why 'now'?" asked Buffy somewhat sarcastically, still clinging to the table leg-cum-sharp stake just in case. "I've been holding the line in Sunnydale for…"

"She is coming soon," interjected Jessica Bee.

"'She'?" puzzled Xander as curiosity canceled out cowardliness.

"She is called many things," Gothica Dee further clarified. "But the name you shall eventually know her as is…Glorificus."

"Or," interjected Jessica Bee, "Glory for short. Which, judging from the general company you keep, Slayer, is no doubt what your group will call her."

"Hey," Xander said with mock machismo, "I think I resemble that remark."

"Not now, Xander," warningly growled Buffy as she continued facing the sisters. "So what is this 'Glory' and what does she have to do with the weirdness going on with…Time?"

"Glorificus, or Glory," began Gothica Dee in a lecture-like manner, "is a god from one of the hell dimensions. There were two other entities ruling it, but Glorificus…Glory…was the most powerful. She has unlimited supernatural powers, although, thus far, she has not deemed it necessary to do more than send emissaries of evil…in the form of demons and vampires…into your world."

Picking up the tale in an equally lecture-like manner, Jessica Bee said, "For some as yet unknown reason, Glory is attempting to attack your plane of existence, starting with Sunnydale and you, rather than bide her time as, originally, she was supposed to do."

"Up to now," chimed in Gothica Dee, "my sister and I, from a far different township than yours, have been 'happy' to dine on animal blood while killing our 'kind' in order to curtail Glory's influence via vampires and, occasionally, werewolves, common demons, and the like. But…"

It was now Jessica Bee's turn to continue the tale, "But with this sudden disruption in uniform Time, it has behooved us to track down the exact center of what we now know to be the deeds of Glorificus herself."

"Excuse me," Cordelia finally said, no longer holding her legs like someone fearing a rat-like infestation, her beautiful face screwed into an almost comical scowl, "'behooved'? Who says 'behooved'?"

Though he did so in an abashed fashion and without vocal confirmation, Giles lifted one hand in order to identify himself as someone who did or would use such an antiquated term.

Lucky for him, no one saw.

"So," Willow finally said while finding her voice and standing to walk around the table whereupon her still active, and still Googling, pink laptop sat, "you guys are here to help?"

Nodding, Gothica Dee quietly confirmed, "Yes. We are."

Suddenly, Giles alarm clock/radio, located in his bedroom, snapped on to loudly play the current Golden Oldies station's tune…

"In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight…oooo-wheeeee…"

"No!" exclaimed Jessica Bee as if being physically assaulted, grasping at her brown-haired head and stumbling about in such a fashion as to clumsily cause lamps and the like, also causing Giles to groan in regret, to crash to the floor. "Not that! Turn it off! Turn it off! Gyaahh!"

"Please, turn that song off!" Gothica Dee quickly pleaded on behalf of her still-screaming, head-clutching, stumbling sister even as the song, originally recorded in the late-Fifties by Pete Seeger, still alive at 88!, and The Weavers and re-recorded in the early-Sixties by The Tokens, continued via the bedroom-located clock/radio.

"…uh-Wimoweh, uh-Wimoweh, uh-Wimoweh…ahhhh-oooooo…"

"Stop it! Stop it! Gyiiii!" continued Jessica Bee in obvious agony, still stumbling about Gile's living room, knocking things over and breaking them, even as Giles rushed into said bedroom to silence said song. "Pleeeeeeaaaaaassssssseeeee!"

Finally, just as the "In the jungle, the mighty jungle" part started to repeat itself, Giles switched it off…

…but not before his living room became significantly trashed, causing him, upon returning, to groan much more loudly, "Oh, my poor, poor irreplaceables…"

"Let's say I believe you two," said Buffy using her makeshift stake as a gesturing device. "Just what can we do that you haven't to stop this…this Glory?"

As that straightforward question hung heavily over the expanded-by-two group gathered inside Rupert Giles' house, Glorificus herself slowly materialized in the suddenly frozen-in-time night directly across the street.

"Time to take out the opposition," sinisterly said the suddenly blonde-haired, shapely all-too-Human appearing hell-controlling god, "so that I can claim the rest…as my eternal slaves. And all without breaking a fingernail. Cool."

END OF CHAPTER 4


	5. Chapter 5

**GOTHICA DEE & JESSICA BEE COME TO SUNNYDALE**

Chapter 5/Conclusion

"All right," Rupert Giles said to the sisters, Gothica Dee and Jessica Bee, whose sharp fangs continued to send shivers down Xander Harris' back, "assuming everything you said about this 'Glorificus' is true…what are we supposed to do to combat her should she stage some sort of…attack?"

Before either vampire/Slayer sister could answer…

Krrrrraaaasssshhhhh!

…the entire front of Giles' house was blown inward as if from the concussive force unleashed by a very powerful bomb situated on his front lawn.

Although the wood had been reduced to scant splinters and the glass to non-lacerating micro-shards, the sheer dynamism involved was more than enough to hurl the small group, vampire sisters included, sailing toward the furthest wall within the living room area. Sailing back to impact hard enough to cause significant "owies" without doing any actual physical damage.

Evidently, the super-being responsible selfishly wished to keep this gathering of anti-Glory individuals alive. The only question was…why?

"Hello," said a smirking, though unbelievably beautiful, while in Human form, Glory. "I trust there's no need to introduce myself. I'm sure these two bloodsucking bitches did that all too well."

Gradually, Buffy, Gothica Dee, and Jessica Bee first, everyone clambered to their respective feet, brushing off minute debris from clothes and hair; the most spastic being none-other-than Xander Harris, who apparently believed spiders were part and parcel with the debris in his hair.

Finally…

"So," began Buffy bravely, "you're Glory. Somehow…I thought you'd be…bitchier."

"Well," playfully mulled the blonde-haired god from a hell dimension, "you must be the Slayer."

After casting a stern glare at Gothica Dee and Jessica Bee, both snarling like animals with fangs in full view and vamp eyes set and ready, Glory corrected, "The real Slayer."

"You know, Glory," said Buffy as her bravery prevailed over all other potential emotions, "you're gonna have to pay for the damage you've done to my Watcher's house."

As Glory glared at Giles, who had suddenly lost any semblance of male pomposity, as he shakily said, "Uh, th-that's all right, uh, G-Glory…I'm, uh, w-well insured."

Amused by such a lack of true courage with the Scoobies, the hell-god leveled her supernatural powers on the only three who stood as the most risk in regards to a real battle on this plane of existence: Gothica Dee, Jessica Bee, and, of course, Buffy Summers.

"Somehow," said a smirking Glorificus in sexy lady disguise, "I don't think anyone here is going to be much of an…obstacle to my grand plans."

"Looks can be deceiving," said Buffy as she gave a go-ahead wink-and-nod to the sisters claiming to be vampire/Slayers as well as having arrived to assist in putting this demonic super-power down.

Before the Scoobies could react at all, Gothica Dee and Jessica Bee moved with the supernatural speed expected of vampires…and then some.

Buffy was, well, Buffy…

A spinning backhand found Glory's jaw…

A jab followed by an uppercut followed by a left hook…

A front kick followed by a jump spin kick followed by a crescent kick…

All of which Glory took without getting knocked down and definitely not getting knocked out. Then there were the attacks by two vampire sisters…

Gothica Dee employed mostly superhuman strength combined with kick boxing methods while Jessica Bee relied more heavily on hand and fist strikes while also augmenting same with her own superhuman strength.

Both of which were trying to sink their super-sharp, super-long canines into the Human form taken by Glorificus on this occasion to visit the Human plane; both failed to follow through, just as Buffy failed with her Slayer-level fighting techniques.

"You must be kidding me," said Glory with a laugh as her otherwise sensual facial features formed an acrimonious grimace. "If that's all you three have got…"

"Uh, excuse me," a voice said simply with the clearing of his throat, causing Glory to halt her attack long enough to turn to see…

"The name's Oz," said the red-haired, guitar-playing, perennially cool Daniel "Oz" Osbourne with considerable self-certainty as he next tossed a significant amount of holy water straight into Glory's face.

All it managed to do was piss her off, "Why you little troll…!"

And it distracted this hell-god just long enough for not only Buffy, Gothica Dee, and Jessica Bee to press a more coordinated attack, but the Scoobies as well.

"Get off me!"

Even as a bloodied, mostly by bites from Gothica Dee and Jessica Bee, with a little coming from vicious blows delivered by the totality of Buffy's ever-present group, shouted such and, therefore, prepared to unleash literal hell…

Jessica Bee, though it personally pained her greatly to do so, began singing, "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight…"

And, as such caused Glory to literally rip out her blonde hair by the handfuls, her lovely features twisted into a mask of imminent insanity, as well as being on the verge of a scream…

Buffy and the Scoobies, including Giles and Oz, chimed in with, "uh-Wimoweh, uh-Wimoweh, uh-Wimoweh, uh-Wimoweh, aaaahhhhh-oooooooo…"

"No! Not that song! Anything but that song! Gyyyiiiiiiiii—!"

Poof!

As soon as Glorificus vanished amidst a literal puff of mystical smoke, Jessica Bee, Buffy, and the Scoobies stopped singing.

"That should keep her away," said Gothica Dee as her sister shivered from the after-effects of having been a party to that seemingly simplistic Human song. "For a while."

"Wait!" called Willow with much more grandiosity than such as she usually displayed in any situation. "You can't leave without telling us what it is about that old song that…you know?"

Gothica Dee deferred to Jessica Bee, having recovered completely, to explain…

"It is one of the few songs, seemingly composed by Humans, that causes actual pain within demonic entities. From vampires…and vampire/Slayers…to something as impossibly powerful as Glorificus. There are a few others…but that one is the worst."

As the night, and the individualized Time, passed as it should, now that Glorificus was, for a short time at least, essentially banned from the Human plane of existence...

"We must go," Gothica Dee proclaimed even as she and her vampiric sister strode for the destroyed front of Giles' house. "Just remember…not all vampires are necessarily evil."

"And not all beautiful blondes," added Jessica Bee after fully recovering from The Lion Sleeps Tonight, "are harmless."

After the two vampire/Slayers disappeared into the remaining pre-morning darkness, everyone joined Giles in looking at a totaled front wall, windows, and door, as Buffy wisely sighed, "You don't really have good insurance to cover this, do you?"

Shallowly shaking his head, while removing his small, round eyeglasses, Giles said, "No. I don't."

Not wishing to hang around and get roped into work involving clean-up and rebuilding, Xander said, "Well…wish I could say this was fun, but…"

As Cordelia Chase followed Xander Harris and as Daniel "Oz" Osbourne and Willow Rosenberg left like the innocently in love couple they were, Buffy Summers stayed a few seconds longer to say, "I'd help, but hammering a nail's a lot different than staking a vamp. Maybe, after you do rebuild, you should think about getting some really good insurance. Laters!"

After abandoned by all who'd once stood shoulder-to-shoulder against a hell-god, Rupert Giles, after wiping off his glasses with a handkerchief from the pocket of his casual clothing and, then, returning them to their prior position upon his nose…

"Teenagers."

END


End file.
